Saturday, September 27, 2014

5 Reasons Why Male Birth Control Will be Terrific

The news is out: Men will now have control over whether or not their females have access to their sperm by 2017.

Why this is amazing news for men:

1. You'll know it's not your kid.

Women can be prevented from pretending they got pregnant by their husbands, when they actually have another guy's child. This will help men avoid raising a child that isn't his, and keep them from having to pay child support / alimony (and it will give them ample time to plan an exit strategy if he is married). Suck it, paternity fraud.

2. Men can no longer be tricked into having unwanted children.

Having kids had always been solely a woman's decision, since her 'forgetting' to take birth control often accounts for many unwanted pregnancies. (Since condoms take away a lot of the pleasure, they often aren't used, and this trick is easier to pull by women, who often are about to hit the wall, or who want a sucker-guy's financial support.)

3. You do it once, and then you can undo it whenever you like.

Unlike female birth control which needs to be taken monthly, only one stopper is needed to keep your little-yous from entering a lady's eggs and thus changing your life.

4. High-profile men, rich men, and male celebrities no longer have to worry about their one night stands carrying babies and receiving monthly payments until death.

It is a common practice for NBA men to flush condoms down the toilet immediately after sex with fangirls so they don't have to worry about becoming a parent or a dent in their income. They can now enjoy sex without the hassle of procreating, along with the pleasure of sex without a condom.

5. If (when) the feminists complain about it, their tyranny will be obvious.

And we will revolt.