Wednesday, September 23, 2015

How do gay men get motivated and thrive like straight men if competition for gay sex is minimal?

Men have invented the modern world because they have had to compete to become the Best Male in order to get the hypergamous and selective woman. Let the games begin. And if you get burned, play harder.
While gay men are arguably as disposable as straight men (more disposable if you're thinking discrimination, less disposable if you're thinking gay-worship in the media), getting laid for a gay guy is not the hardest thing nowadays. And we here who know the wisdom of disposing oneitis and not "improving myself for him so he gets interested again" (due to the neuroticism it causes and the lack of practicality of postulating our old flames will rekindle)...we have a leg up on romance, but that might be our falling. We don't compete for sex and we know better than to give our hearts to the first bidder (or any bidder if we can help it), so what's our biological kick to ass-kick?
I figure that the big motivator for gays is often shame. Even if they're not being shamed now that high school's over (it got better!), the feeling is still there, or the personality pattern of achievement and taking the other bitches out of the competition remains. Dad isn't thrilled about your ball-throwing abilities, but he thinks that science fair prize (or standing ovation in a theater) is pretty dank!
After TRP taught me what my oneitis was and why I should cast it aside, I've still had motivation to plunder on in my career and self-analysis, turning new rocks, making new friends, self-discoveries and ideological leaps, but I have recently been struck by the notion that I don't have the "sexual" or "romantic" motivations that so famously drive men to change the world. And coming from our consumerist world-culture, we can look at this and find the audacity to say "hey, I want that."
I suspect masculine-top gays may psych themselves into running more game, out of necessity or because they initiate more, and thus they are constantly in 'competition mode' or 'all in or nothing whether I get rejected or not', thus driving them to become more worthy men, whereas more feminine bottoms may have gone off of their looks and used clumsier game, coming off at best as endearing during flirtations but regardless not finding sex to be a rare commodity.
I've also noticed that high-status men have hit on me and even become romantically interested when I play it right, but I suspect it doesn't have to do with my super-masc-alpha-dude status, nor does their interest affect my status in the male hierarchy. It is like being the female of the group; the status is by no means automatically lower, but the standards are so different that lining up a who's-who hierarchy of males and females is a headache. In courting, the masculine counterpart's status matters but not necessarily the feminine's.
This could entirely be the problem of bottoms. Much like feminism has taught women to go for career and status, when this in fact makes them unsatisfied romantically and sexually, maybe bottoms aren't meant to change the world like their more masculine gay lovers. They play the woman's game sexually/romantically, and therefore their habits and motivations transfer into their life force and motivation.
Now that I've said "life force" humor me with this new age thought: sexually I find the masculine counterpart's horny energy comes from his hips/balls area and projects onto the masculine subject's ass, while the feminine feels a longing in the chest for the masculine counterpart's desire, and the feminine projects 'her' desire onto his sexy upper torso. I very strongly feel that the life force is what's activated when someone is interested in a masculine way, and the feminine desire for the masculine's desire is desire for his outstanding life force, the procreator of life. Interestingly, they say that when a man's balls are literally cut off, he has little motivation in life. Correlation?
How have gays been able to accomplish so much if gay sex competition is minimal?
What is the fire under your ass, or the thing that holds the carrot in front of your face?
What would you say is the chief motivator for most gay men, sex or otherwise? A taste for life, an eye on luxury/harmony/pleasure/kitschiness?
If lack of motivation is more of a bottom's situation, should a bottom aim to become a top in bed in order to achieve, instead of find himself in a life of tying down a beta-bux?