Responsible Offendedness

There is a considerable amount of well-meaning tone-policing, word-policing, and, well, thought-policing on Facebook lately, mostly meant to raise awareness and politeness, but sometimes with haughty moral superiority that is not so empathetic and actually meant to start a witch hunt against those who think non-hatefully, but simply have different ideas on how everyone can achieve even more happiness using broadly different and scientific tactics (totally not me or anything!). In everyone's rush to get everyone to think like them and to get those pesky individuals who think differently to at least act like they do by following arbitrary "rules," I propose a few "rules" about REPONSIBLE OFFENDEDNESS, and, according to the current doctrines, I Totally Can Do This because I am gay and hispanic. No privilege tho.

1. If someone offends you, it doesn't mean they hate you or XYZ group.
2. If someone offends you, it doesn't mean they're wrong. It means you had an experience, and the truth is independent of that.
3. If someone offends you, it doesn't mean you're right. You could be right, but your level of offendedness doesn't correlate with the truth.
4. Don't immediately try to unemploy someone who holds a view that is different than yours, or who feels differently towards a subject than you or what everyone is supposed to feel/think.
5. If you find yourself trying to unemploy someone after an interaction with them, you are probably doing something shitty and don't care about free speech.

If these rules seem severe, check out the other rules on your feed. You obviously don't have to follow these rules, but see what happens when you don't follow the others!

"Kids in school don't know how to think anymore. They feel something and they think they're thinking." ~ Thomas Sowell, very summarized quote

(I almost posted the above on my Facebook. What was I thinking!)

A Word on Discussion of Controversial Topics

If someone makes a 'silly' question or statement, like...
"Why should we let the immigrants stay?"
"I don't think the killer guy was a misogynist."
"Why do gay people have to hold hands in public?"

...I feel like the following ways of addressing them, which I have actually seen people I (had) consider(ed) smart use, are ineffective:
"I'm not even going to ADDRESS that OUTRAGEOUS misogynist/homophobic/transphobic/racist statement/question."
"Up yours."

If someone makes a question or statement that is not in line with your views, even if most people would agree that that person is an idiot, then make your point against theirs, if they posit any. If they don't back up what they say, make your points anyway. If you think making your points will not change their mind (e.g., if they are making a rhetorical insult), then why are you talking to them? Maybe they would listen, because people listen to even-sounding people.

Also, scary, but, maybe you don't have any points, or the points by the other side are weirdly on-point, and that's why you are going from discussing to your Plan B. Not something we like to admit, but wouldn't you appreciate it if a particularly unreasonable person with opposing viewpoints to yours let that thought cross their own mind? You would because it would collectively bring you to a Greater Understanding.

I'm not saying this because I necessarily think everyone should be nice and kumbaya. But how else would progress even be made if we don't channel our debate-fury into intellectual ammo instead of "omg, you're dumb, congrats on your inferiority because you are dumb and Don't Understand, even though I don't believe in superiority/inferiority lol"? Liberal views like what I and a lot of others I know hold are often considered RADICAL in other, if not MOST, places. Give your viewpoint some good PR, in case you are actually invested in defending the fate of [group of living beings / idea].