5 Reasons He's Not That Into You (Besides "Type")

You're ready for him. Why isn't he having it with you?


1. You're showing too much interest

We all want what we can't have, because if it doesn't want us, then it must be really awesome and better than us! This is how we think. Also, showing too much interest can be creepy. The sooner you stop back-to-back texting him, the more classy you can appear.


2. You don't rock the clothes (yet!)

Nothing says confidence like great taste in clothes that show off your body. Feeling good enough about yourself to show off is also an aphrodisiac.


3. You don't have the body (yet!)

Seriously, work out. Your body has ONE JOB.


4. You're nervous or socially awkward

Dating and mating is about finding the strongest and worthiest mate, when it comes to gay men. These traits, however, reek of powerlessness and lack of confidence. Fake it 'til you make it!


5. He's in love with someone else.

Oh, please.


But don't worry! We'll help you be a player beast so your feelings never have to be outcome-independent on one guy again -- because seriously, that's an attraction killer, as we mentioned, and most importantly, it's just not healthy.

Why Orange is the New Black Lesbian Writer Divorce is a Bad Example for Men, Women, Gays

Of COURSE when you find out you're a lesbian, when you fall for another girl while in a marriage with someone else, you NATURALLY send the husband packing from the apartment AND KEEP THE RING.

"But he gave it to her!"

HE SURE DID. And how many months of salary it must have been! Good thing she can keep it for the memories. If not, why not sell it! He's not keeping it, anyway!

I was so flustered to read all these cheeky articles about a writer discovering she is gay, dating a girl at work, and THEN telling her husband the news AND THAT HE HAS TO LEAVE.

It's not even the arguable cheating that sends me off. If feminists are arguing for gender equality, then please dream up the following situation with me:

A guy discovers that he is not in love with his wife. In fact, he's having a thing with that other guy at his start-up workplace. He has money, but, he suggests that she find another place to live. And yeah he's gonna keep the ring she gave him because he's, uh, the sentimental type. Thanks for the memories though! You're a sweetheart, you. And you're employed, ex-wife, so that shouldn't be a problem either.

Good for her for discovering she's gay and that she's found her 'soul mate', or one of many to come. Now, can she do the adult thing where she excuses herself from this unsuspecting, poor man's life? "I just found out that I'm not for you, that someone else is, and this is totally not your fault, so I'll be leaving and if it's not rude of me, you can keep the ring, because I'm not a royal ass." That would be some fucking chivalry right there. Oh wait, that's a guy word. Uh. Gentlewomanliness? Compassion? Someone help me out here.

The day we stop seeing female sovereignty as "girl power!" will be a good fucking day.