5 Reasons He's Not That Into You (Besides "Type")

You're ready for him. Why isn't he having it with you?


1. You're showing too much interest

We all want what we can't have, because if it doesn't want us, then it must be really awesome and better than us! This is how we think. Also, showing too much interest can be creepy. The sooner you stop back-to-back texting him, the more classy you can appear.


2. You don't rock the clothes (yet!)

Nothing says confidence like great taste in clothes that show off your body. Feeling good enough about yourself to show off is also an aphrodisiac.


3. You don't have the body (yet!)

Seriously, work out. Your body has ONE JOB.


4. You're nervous or socially awkward

Dating and mating is about finding the strongest and worthiest mate, when it comes to gay men. These traits, however, reek of powerlessness and lack of confidence. Fake it 'til you make it!


5. He's in love with someone else.

Oh, please.


But don't worry! We'll help you be a player beast so your feelings never have to be outcome-independent on one guy again -- because seriously, that's an attraction killer, as we mentioned, and most importantly, it's just not healthy.

13 Reasons Why Getting a Boyfriend is Hard

Let's be real -- getting a boyfriend isn't a cakewalk. If it were, we wouldn't be here right now, delineating all the ways we can manage to get the guy! Pessimism is no one's greatest asset, but it's important to know exactly what we're dealing with as we accrue more knowledge as to what a guy looks for in us, and what we should be looking for in a guy.

1. There is so much competition for gay men (especially in major cities)

If you live in a city like New York or San Francisco and someone were to ask you, "Who's the hottest gay guy in your area?" you might laugh, or stare at them with deep concern for their mental wellbeing. The fact is that cities like these aren't like your typical suburban high school, where only a handful of guys are out, if any, and when one guy gets bulging biceps, everyone knows, and he's the talk of the town. On the US coasts, a guy with muscles is a guy a dozen. You use the word "eligible" strictly when you're being ironic. Even if someone you like also liked you, he might think, "Hmm...well, there must be more!" or... "Wow... if I can get him, I wonder who else I can get!"

2. We don't have the experience our straight peers have (since they 'came out' way before we did)

This one's a doozie. Dating experience is important for confidence in dating, confidence in ourselves, and familiarity with 'how these things play out' is so important to maintain composure and have realistic expectations. Watch this reason resurface in the following ones.

3. We're brought up with a poor idea of how love works

We think we'll find someone, our "soul mate," and that we suddenly we will be completely understood and loved. It felt like that with a best friend in our pasts, so love must turn out the same way, right? The media, the movies, even our family reassure us that this fantasy reencounter will happen. The media does it because it sells, and our family tells us this lie not to deceive us, but because they want us to feel safe and reassured, despite the reality. Relationships are hard work, and dating isn't a cakewalk. It often involves staring at a phone hoping we'll get a text back, and dates you politely sit through with a guy who didn't look quite like his Tinder pictures.

4. Not understanding the rules of the Sexual Marketplace

It's not even that much of forbidden knowledge; it's just that it's difficult to talk about, and often joked about (she's reaching her early 30s, uh oh!) and so we don't realize how much these rules apply to us individually. We actually begin to believe that fat or old people are hot deep down inside and that it's what inside that matters, and it's what's inside (not out!) that facilitate 'love at first sight' and a long-term relationship. These bad thoughts leads to poor habits, entitlement, thinking guys are in our range when they're not, and selfish behavior in relationships.

5. Social anxiety from being a gay outcast earlier in life affects formulation of romantic/sexual relationships

If you're shy with people, chances are you're gonna be shy when you fall for someone, which can be a great advantage or a great disadvantage, depending on whether you're the masculine or feminine on in your relationship. Generally, being shy is not so great, though. Guys in this situation need more experience with people, perhaps even so before opening up to the dating world. (Our advice: Don't fall so hard! This can be avoided by dating many guys at once -- this is a must for long-term success!)

6. Still being in the closet (you or him -- either way, not so helpful)

Whether it's you or him in the closet, either way it's not an ideal place from which to have a relationship. Secretive dates can be fun for one second, but it becomes a pain when how covert you can be is misunderstood or asks for way too much from either of you.

7. Parents

Parents or a family that's not cool with the whole gay thing, yours or his, can get in the way, if you're trying to have a very traditional LTR where you both meet each other's parents, etc. By "parents" we aren't talking about dorky parents who embarrass you. If your guy really likes you, he'd find your parents' corny jokes adorable! (If you're still in high school, this may be hard to understand.)

8. Not understanding how to deal with game-playing

When you get a text or an email from a guy you're interested in, it's always best to at least slightly delay your response time. That way, you don't seem so clingy or obsessed with him, which keeps him from wanting to get rid of you, and he maintains the illusion that you have many other options -- you may even be texting and otherwise electronically flirting with other guys (you'd better be!).

9. We don't know how to 'market' ourselves and think 'being ourselves' is the way to go

Because we're encouraged to act like 'queens' by celebrities, the media, and our female friends, many gay men are not comfortable in their masculinity which ironically is what all gay men want in a partner.

10. We don't know what other gay men want

What your crush ideally wants (and what you want!): a tall, handsome, strong (internally and externally), funny, wealthy guy who knows exactly how I'm feeling, can always take a hint, always says exactly the right thing, is cool with all of 'my flaws' (i.e. selfishness and bad habits I'm not willing to revoke), who won't get fat when he's older and who thinks I'm funny and amazing and wonderful just the way I am (i.e. accepts my laziness).

What your crush thinks he wants (and what you think you want): A really nice guy who's really understanding.

What your crush is hard-wired by nature to want (and you're no exception): A guy who's out of your league but likes you, kind of, anyway, and lets you be on his list of numbers, or maybe even boyfriends, though you always suspect he's got something else going on.

11. We haven't had practice dealing with our own clinginess

Our girlfriends might learn right away maybe when they're 10 that boys run when girls chase back, so we have to not only learn the games, but habituate them, too! Knowing the difference between energetically saying something really clever or showing way too much interest is important and hard to differentiate when you think you've got a real catch.

12. It's not about wanting a boyfriend or the end result

This mentality can always lead to disaster, especially on or before the first date!

13. Being too nice

Our culture over-estimates how far niceness can take us, and we often forget that we can be blindly taken advantage of even by those who we feel we can trust the most.

5 Reasons Why Male Birth Control Will be Terrific

The news is out: Men will now have control over whether or not their females have access to their sperm by 2017.

Why this is amazing news for men:

1. You'll know it's not your kid.

Women can be prevented from pretending they got pregnant by their husbands, when they actually have another guy's child. This will help men avoid raising a child that isn't his, and keep them from having to pay child support / alimony (and it will give them ample time to plan an exit strategy if he is married). Suck it, paternity fraud.

2. Men can no longer be tricked into having unwanted children.

Having kids had always been solely a woman's decision, since her 'forgetting' to take birth control often accounts for many unwanted pregnancies. (Since condoms take away a lot of the pleasure, they often aren't used, and this trick is easier to pull by women, who often are about to hit the wall, or who want a sucker-guy's financial support.)

3. You do it once, and then you can undo it whenever you like.

Unlike female birth control which needs to be taken monthly, only one stopper is needed to keep your little-yous from entering a lady's eggs and thus changing your life.

4. High-profile men, rich men, and male celebrities no longer have to worry about their one night stands carrying babies and receiving monthly payments until death.

It is a common practice for NBA men to flush condoms down the toilet immediately after sex with fangirls so they don't have to worry about becoming a parent or a dent in their income. They can now enjoy sex without the hassle of procreating, along with the pleasure of sex without a condom.

5. If (when) the feminists complain about it, their tyranny will be obvious.

And we will revolt.

Emma Watson's Speech Marks the Beginning of the End of Feminism

Emma Watson's organization she spoke for's stance: Getting men to help women with their problems.

Uh...okay.

Emma Watson's speech: Here are some areas where men also have problems.

Whoa. That was powerful. Good for Emma for not buying the baloney that women have it all bad.

While some bloggers are complaining that Watson basically appealed to "the oppressors" to help, there are a few things to be said about that:
1) they are not the oppressors and women have it much better than men in the first world economically, legislatively, and on a food-to-mouth basis (read Esther Vilar's "The Manipulated Man" in case you don't already know this).
2) It's about goddamn time that men KNOW that they have the shorter end of the stick in many, many cases.

What's fantastic is that now on a wide scale, men know they have it bad in some things. What's crazy is that the majority of men have no idea. They automatically see women as these helpless, divine creatures that need their assistance, while the women turn around and say they do not want to be portrayed in the media like that any longer (while continuing to use this facade in order to get what they want anyway such as by expanding the meaning of rape so non-violent rape somehow counts as rape and can put men in jail for deciding badly for her; see feminism).

So hopefully this actually turns into an actual gender equality thing.

Why Orange is the New Black Lesbian Writer Divorce is a Bad Example for Men, Women, Gays

Of COURSE when you find out you're a lesbian, when you fall for another girl while in a marriage with someone else, you NATURALLY send the husband packing from the apartment AND KEEP THE RING.

"But he gave it to her!"

HE SURE DID. And how many months of salary it must have been! Good thing she can keep it for the memories. If not, why not sell it! He's not keeping it, anyway!

I was so flustered to read all these cheeky articles about a writer discovering she is gay, dating a girl at work, and THEN telling her husband the news AND THAT HE HAS TO LEAVE.

It's not even the arguable cheating that sends me off. If feminists are arguing for gender equality, then please dream up the following situation with me:

A guy discovers that he is not in love with his wife. In fact, he's having a thing with that other guy at his start-up workplace. He has money, but, he suggests that she find another place to live. And yeah he's gonna keep the ring she gave him because he's, uh, the sentimental type. Thanks for the memories though! You're a sweetheart, you. And you're employed, ex-wife, so that shouldn't be a problem either.

Good for her for discovering she's gay and that she's found her 'soul mate', or one of many to come. Now, can she do the adult thing where she excuses herself from this unsuspecting, poor man's life? "I just found out that I'm not for you, that someone else is, and this is totally not your fault, so I'll be leaving and if it's not rude of me, you can keep the ring, because I'm not a royal ass." That would be some fucking chivalry right there. Oh wait, that's a guy word. Uh. Gentlewomanliness? Compassion? Someone help me out here.

The day we stop seeing female sovereignty as "girl power!" will be a good fucking day.

Why Male Femininity is Fundamental to Gay Sex

This blog post is actually NOT a cry to 'tolerate' and open-heartedly 'accept' femininity in gay men.

I agree with Jack Donovan's point that queeny behavior in the gay community is overdone, mostly a show and not necessarily a demonstration of a gay person's true self, and that the benefits of a gay guy finding his 'real manly self' are so numerous that a book could be entirely devoted to the subject (actually it has been; "Androphila" by Donovan). It's often difficult for many gay men to come to terms with this since we are basically taught and conditioned by women and fellow gay men that sassiness and the most up-to-date diss are what constitute our interpersonal identity, but after the first heartbreak (my observation; didn't read that from Donovan), we often settle more into our real selves.

So a middle class gay guy's external identity looks something like this from birth through adult-olescence:

Vaguely masculine and feminine in youth --> Ultra-feminine I-am-gay-here-me-roar stage --> Masculinity is attempted

Donovan firmly believes not only that men regardless of sexual orientation can and should act like men, but that even in the bedroom, there is no need for one partner to become, in an emotional or energetic sense, the feminine counterpart. His point, however, is completely against the law of sexual polarity. By that I don't mean 'this is not allowed and I won't permit it'; what I mean is that sex doesn't work, sex is not sexual without this dual polarity.

David Deida in his book "The Way of the Superior Man" explicitly states, on the outset of the book, that in any kind of sexual encounter, heterosexual or homosexual, masculine and feminine roles must be played by the two respective partners. If this polarity didn't exist there could still be affection, there could still be camaraderie, but the longing and desire would completely dissolve.

My own experiences have always been in line with Deida's outlook. When two men meet on a bed, one of them has to carry the masculine role, and the other inevitably, in some form or another, a role which facilitates that masculinity (that is, a feminine one). Two masculine beings can't simply be together carnally and be energetically (and audibly) fluid. The temporary 'loss' of one's masculinity however doesn't have to have negative implications; I completely agree with Donovan's statement in his book "Androphilia" that a man's role in the bedroom is not a good determinant of his overall masculinity.

Gay men are different from straight men and a lot more like their female peers in that they prefer masculinity in a sexual partner. But gay men are a lot like straight males in that, when demonstrating their masculinity in a sexual way, THEY HIGHLY PREFER FEMININE FEEDBACK. This feminine feedback isn't, or rather doesn't have to be, the show-off display of "I'm a queen!" that Donovan seems sure that gay femininity in bed is in all cases.

My early college years consisted of finding the most muscular alpha males I could and copulating with them profusely -- mostly men in their 40s' prime with incredible New York bodies. All they had to do was put a hand on my waist, puff their chest, press up against me, and as my voice register went up with every subsequent moan of pleasure, I figured there was no way I had it in me to be a top.

That is, until I had some close encounters in the twink zone.

I had gotten somewhat in touch with my masculine sexual polarity -- the other side of my internal, hard-wired sexual magnet -- when I walked up to a muscular (of course) boy at a party, drunk out of my mind, and we immediately began making out. In the guest bedroom I found myself on top of him and had a weird urge to penetrate him and "give him my seed," to quote a message from my subconscious. Mentioning this to him, a certain kind of smile grew on his face that I hadn't seen much in other boys during intimacy, except sometimes from my boyfriend back in high school. "Do you have a condom?" he asked.

Huh? I wondered. Gay muscular guys can be feminine during sex? More-so than me? What's going on?

At some point I figured out that I had both (potential) masculine and feminine super-powers and that either was summoned based on my chemistry with the other guy. I've flat out told a buff, handsome but sort of feminine guy part-way through gaming him -- or being gamed by him, I wasn't sure -- "You know, I have no idea who's the dominant one here." It made good conversation at the bar-club, but not great sex.

This became increasingly apparent to me up to the point that, even when a guy was initiating contact, rubbing his leg up against mine in public to elicit a boner, and asking me to his room (because "taking me home" doesn't fit his vibe), his slight femininity or body size/structure made it clear that I was to do the man's work on his sheets. There is nothing more satisfying than penetrating a guy or otherwise demonstrating masculinity to him and hearing his high cries of pleasure and his desire to come closer; it is enough to drive any top or vers guy completely mad and render him down towards a blissful bunny-rabbit level of consciousness, unless of course it's overdone and he's performing for an invisible yas-crowd.

Masculine and feminine polarity is so hot because it's a chase that doesn't have an end. The guy in the masculine role is operating completely from his dick and balls, finding himself exclusively interested in his male partner's waist, ass, and in throwing his boy-plaything around, wanting nothing more but to squirt his seed into the other guy to the point where the boy coughs it out of his mouth, or is at least left partially immobile. A guy in the feminine role will be interested in his partner's musculature (although that arguably goes both ways), his partner's broad shoulders and large back, his partner's chest, low voice, and basically upper body (and legs help a lot). The man in the male role is providing value through his horny abandon, and the guy in the feminine role provides value with his attractive but manageable body, and beckons with moans for the big boy to please give him one more kiss. The masculine role channels from the waist, and the feminine role receives the masculine into his chest, releasing oxytocin, when he's with a properly masculine dick-provider. A healthy guy in the masculine role LIKES when his masculinity is properly received, because it's indicating that he's doing his job.

The providing of affection in return from the masculine partner helps the attraction, but a huge mistake is for the masculine to return feminine feedback to his temporarily feminine partner. A cry to come together isn't necessarily satisfied by answering the plea. Two times did hulking guys return my high cries of indulgence by enthusiastically matching my high pitch, instead of for example growling. Nope. The deal breaker here isn't that it's a femininity overload; it's that now two of us are screaming for daddy, but, where did daddy go? I'm not daddy tonight.

And what happens when two men use all their efforts to avoid sounding like eunichs in the bedroom? Generally, someone will be the bottom, or one person will find their hands saddling on the other's waist while the other finds preference in the other's arms and shoulders, completing the masculine-feminine circuitry despite the no-homo-ing. If not, it's a wank and a horniness reliever that holds no energetic potential. It's sex with a friend in the dullest way and it's just not as hot. No one's masculinity was rewarded, no one's was received; we just sent it off into the air, together, kinda.

Tops (or rather, when you are a top -- everyone's got both circuitries) channel sexuality through horniness, dominance, and objectifying his partner, while more or less taking care that his bottom doesn't end up in the ER. Bottoms receive masculine sexual energy and get off on receiving their partner's masculine gift. Many bottoms will tell you it's not the actual dick that pleases them as much as the overall feeling of submitting to a guy.

The next time a wrapped-up dick enters you, let your voice go to its naturally higher register so it can resonate with the heart muscles, where your partner's energy is going anyway. If you're a top, it's okay to judge if your partner starts sounding like a lady (you can't help a judgment), but if you're adequately masculine, you will feel the reward of your keep's moans of pleasure. When you get a low grunt, it's kind of okay; the worst thing that can happen is your partner's masculinity gets the best of you. Then you won't wanna be left out from getting entered.